Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The Nightmare

I have this reoccuring dream that its my last quarter of school and I'm enrolled in 4 classes. 2 of the classes are a breeze, but then it occurs to me that one of the classes that I'm taking, an English class (not even a requirement for my major in the reality), is a class I'm not going to pass. Simply because I haven't been to that class since the beginning of the quarter, and it is now week 8. I have simply put off that class, and just forgot about it because I was busy with everything else. Since its a small class, even if I tried to make up the work, the TA teaching the class wouldn't even give me that option unlike some of the classes at UCSD where you can still pass without attending a single lecture. Then it also occurs to me that the 4th class is another class I have no chance in passing. The dream seems so real, and I get so stressed out. Then I remember that I have already graduated. And I must have graduated since I remember my graduation vividly. Then I wake up.

What is interesting is that even in really bad similar scenarios in life, most of the times you usually can find a solution as long as you cram and work hard to meet the deadline. But during this dream, it is not even an option to cram and put all my effort into it. My only option is to admit defeat and realize I need to stay for another quarter of classes. It feels like the whole world is caving in, every single time.

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