Maturity

I've had a rethought of my "I'm in the know" post. Sure it is all true, you might believe in it, and change your ways because you believe it. But I see the bigger picture now. Its all about being mature and really understanding what it means to be a man. In today's society, after you're 18 or 21 or whatever, you are a man in a physical sense, but the way our culture is set up, there's no formal initiation where you psychologically leave the boy behind, and fully take on what we are innately programmed to do. If you're a guy, and when you got to 21, or 25, did you ever wonder "I know I am a man but when can I start referencing myself as 'a man of...' or 'a man who...' and not feel funny saying it?" Mature women can determine at the drop of a hat the level of a guy's maturity. And without shame I will admit I hadn't matured at all a year ago. And in the last year, I deeply wanted to be mature, and understood the characteristics of a man, but I was approaching it from a top down approach by trying to act like a man (and feeling conflicted), rather than working from the bottom up by letting the boy die, understanding what it really means to be a man, and let my new psychology guide my actions from then on.

Not 100% there yet because I have goals for myself but I'm getting this taken care of. And it'll be done soon.

Fashion

After I've made "the realization" everything in between makes sense to me at a whole different level. I've never really understood fashion before. I would try different things and could tell you what looks good on me or not, but that's only a part of it. I've always made the mistake of dressing according to "the style that has become popular" when people that really understand fashion know that the style that is fading in an exponential level. In short, you want to stand out to get noticed. The trick is the futher you're willing to play this attraction game, there's a fine line between "weirdo" and "interesting". And its all about balancing how to make yourself stand out while finding something that fits your self image.

Case in point, imagine 10 guys approaching the same girl. 9 of the guys were wearing similar styles. Then there's this one guy that just gets it that wears something totally different, boarderline ridiculous. That one guy is so ahead of the game because its most likely that she's already seen him and have triggered a message in her brain that goes something like "whoa...what's up with that guy?" And you can bet when he goes up and says hi, she'll have more to say to you than just hi back and be interested to find out the person behind the clothing, compared to the other 9 guys that were blending in that when they walked up to her, they might as well have stepped in from the shadows and more likely triggered a response back from her like "hi...and what do you want?" because it'll be the first time she's even seen you. This is a good way to prove how not smooth you are.

I'm in the know

Sometime in the last month or so, it finally clicked. It was like taking the red pill and entering the Matrix and never seeing the same things the same way. Floods of interconnected information started making sense at such a deep level and it felt like I had finally solved one of biggest puzzles we all have to solve one day for ourselves. It makes so much sense now on why so many nice guys are single (and will likely stay that way), why so many jerks are not, and that the girls/women are looking for neither of those guys, but end up settling for one or the other.

Then there is the minority that the girls who have figured it out are holding off to meet one day. I'm talking about the guys in the know that are still single. They understand the concept of relationships, everything in between, know what people are really looking for from relationships, and how to deliver that to both parties. And I would like to welcome myself to this exclusive club. Let me say this. I am still a nice person, but I am no longer the nice guy in the context of "nice guys finish last."

Being a perfectionist its hard to look back at just about everything I did in the last 10 years of my dating life, and realizing just about everything I thought I was doing right was just the absolutely the wrong thing to do. Never again will I ever find myself in the same position.

We're always trying to do the right thing at all times. Unfortunately, until you realize it for yourself, any attempt of someone trying to explain "it" to you would sound like a far fetched theory at best and would not be convincing enough for you to see that what you once thought was right may be completely wrong. And you cannot, or have any reason to, do something you don't believe in. You always need to be yourself. That is the most important thing.

This is my third blog

I don't know who still comes by to read it but I feel the changes to my life and who I am no longer directly reflect the previous postings. Check back for some interesting posts.

What is this crap?

Man, ever since I started brewing my own coffee, I can't stand coffee at the cart. Its just terrible. Its like going from a really good beer to Budweiser.

Damn

Its hot and humid in NY.

The perfect burrito

El Cotixan should make a burrito 150% of its original size, and make it half shredded beef, and half carne asada.